All relationships take hard work and effort at some stage. Going into a relationship is the easy part, but maintaining a relationship to the standard that you desire or require is not as simple. No matter how much personal work each individual has done, there will always be issues that arise simply from differing upbringings or cultural backgrounds. For such concerns to be addressed in a manner that fosters connection and satisfaction, it could be important to introduce the following qualities to your relationship.
Honesty can mean a lot of different things to people. For some people honesty means that they don’t lie overtly, while for others honesty means that they don’t withhold any information. Negotiating the kind of honesty that you want in your relationship can make a big difference to both of your levels of satisfaction.
Getting clear on what you do or don’t want to know about your partner can help to guide you both towards a deeper connection.
Often couples don’t have conversations about their expectations around honesty, which can lead to pain and confusion later on, so making sure you discuss your expectations early on can relieve a lot of potential hurt.
Integrity is a word that I have noticed many people using, but with little understanding of what it actually means. Being in integrity means that your values and actions are consistent with one another. Basically it can translate to “say what you mean, and mean what you say.”
If you want to know if someone has integrity, it is more important to observe their behaviours than their words.
While sometimes people talk themselves up, their actions should tell you much more about who they really are. If you find yourself often confused with someone’s actions versus their words, it might be time to reassess the situation.
Passion (outside of the relationship)
Having interests that lie outside of your relationship creates independence and differentiation. This means that both partners can feel fulfilled and satisfied outside of their relationship. This way each partner has the opportunity to contribute something new and novel within the relationship via their experiences.
It makes sense that those who maintain excitement on a personal level are more able to introduce excitement into their relationship.
While initially it might feel more stimulating to spend more time with a new partner, those may feelings wear off over time. Ensuring you maintain some aspects of your life which fulfill you can make you both a better partner and lover.
It is never too late to make changes to the way you approach your relationship. If you find yourself lacking interest in your partner, perhaps you aren’t looking closely enough. Creating intimacy takes courage and vulnerability, as well as determination. While it might be daunting to change ingrained relationship patterns, facing the challenge could be all it takes to establish a deeper and more intimate connection with your partner.