All relationships get into a sexual funk at some point, which for some couples can turn into years of sexual dissatisfaction. Finding ways to spice things up in the bedroom doesn’t have to be a mammoth task. Making a few, simple changes to your sexual routine could make a huge difference to your sex life.
1. Set the Mood
After the initial romantic stage of relationship is over, we seldom create a sexy mood for sex. But taking a few minutes to set the mood for sex can help to make you both feel up for it.
- Light candles: creating soft lighting not only enhances the mood, but reduces inhibitions if either of you have body image concerns. Low lights could make you feel more confident to get completely naked, making sex more exciting.
- Sexy music: most of us know how music can change how we feel, and especially how sexy music allow us to feel more sexy. Putting on music that makes you feel sexy gets you much closer to being in the mood. Try some sexy music when you have sex and feel into your sexy.
2. Create a Connection
Some simple connection practices makes you feel closer to your partner, which can make you feel more desire for sex.
- Self-connection: Sitting facing one another (either in chairs or on the bed or floor), take a few moments to close your eyes and focus on your own breathing. Let go of pointless thoughts, and get into your body.
- Eye gazing: Slowly open your eyes and gaze into your partner’s eyes. If you feel awkward or nervous, then you know it’s working. Eye gazing makes us more physically self aware, which means it’s easier to get into the sensations of your body. That’s why most people do the uncomfortable giggle during this exercise, and that’s okay.
- Physical connection: While looking into each other’s eyes, each place your hand on the other’s heart and synch up your breathing. Connecting through breathe and heart makes you more aware of one another, resulting in feelings of intimacy.
3. Get your Kinky On
When most of us hear the acronym BDSM, we tend to feel nervous with images of whips and chains in a dungeon racing through our minds. But the reality is that some light play with BDSM doesn’t have to be intimidating at all, and can really introduce you both to new kinds of pleasure.
- Silk scarves: restraining your partner’s hands and creating a blindfold with soft scarves creates a much larger physical awareness. Having the sense of sight and touch inhibited allows you to feel other things more intensely.
- Props: Once your partner feels safe and comfortable with the scarves, then play with a variety of sensations on their body. Use items such as feathers, ice, talcum powder and massage oil to tease their body into a state of arousal. Stay away from highly erogenous zones for as long as your partner can stand it, remembering to be very aware of their breathing, movements and vocalisations as a guide to their level of enjoyment. If something doesn’t seem to be turning them on, try something new. Even bringing different foods in can make it very exciting. Slowly dripping some melted chocolate into your partner’s lips may drive them crazy.
- Permission: Turning it into a game of resistance could plunge this game into something truly erotic. Waiting until your partner is literally begging for sex might make it the best sex of your life!
Trying these simply ideas to create more interest in sex could set you off on a sexual exploration that you never expected. You may learn that domination or submission arouses you more than you anticipated, or you may find that your orgasms are far more powerful when you add resistance to the equation. Often we are unaware of what turns us on, so playing with sexual dynamics could change your sexual relationship permanently.