Sometimes the body can feel uncomfortable or in pain and this can affect how we interact sexually. This may be due to ageing or if we find we have an injury or pain that is preventing us from having sex in our usual way. Sex can be an important part in both enhancing relationships and even in pain management. Research shows that orgasm increases hormones which boost your pain threshold. So if there is pain present, how can you still enjoy sex?
Foreplay: foreplay can often be as satisfactory as intercourse if time and energy are spent enjoying and getting to know each others body in an intimate way. One beautiful way to pleasure your lover is for one of you to sit against a support (perhaps the head of the bed) and the other to recline between your legs. Both of you get the benefit of skin on skin contact, experiencing physical closeness. Then stimulation can occur, either self stimulation while being held or if comfortable, with the holding partner accessing the genitals.
Oral sex: oral sex is another easy way to pleasure each other and can be done mutually or one at a time. Lying on a comfortable bed or rug, both lie on your sides facing in opposite directions. This way you can easily access your partners genitals with the mouth or hands. Having such close contact with your partner could prove to be more arousing than thought possible.
Spooning: spooning is another great way to have sex while being comfortable. Both lie on the same side, with the receiving partner in the front. When you are both ready, entry is readily available from behind. This can be as exciting as doggy style with rear entry, but with more tenderness and closeness. This position can be great to just connect in without requiring movement for you to connect more fully before you begin to work your way towards climax.
Face to face: adjusting missionary slightly so that you are both lying on your sides is a beautiful position to achieve eye contact and to practice eye gazing while having sex. If you entwine your thighs to create genital closeness and enter from here it can take a lot of pressure off the joints and culminate in a beautiful and affectionate sexual encounter.
Sex does not have to go out the window if you are struggling with your physical health or feeling the effects of an ageing body. Often when in such situations one can feel unattractive or not in the mood for sex, but remember: if you don’t use it, you lose it. Making the effort to be sexual with your lover may make you feel a whole lot better in the long run.
*This is not medical advice. If you are experiencing any of the above symptoms, please go and see your healthcare practitioner.