Over recent years sex has become more openly discussed in the media, and as a society we seem to be becoming more comfortable with talking about sex. One topic which most of us have probably heard about, read about or spoken about is FOREPLAY. Most guides to good sex will have some reference to foreplay and people often see foreplay as an inherent aspect of their sex life. Women tend to become more easily distracted during sexual encounters, while men are able to remain focussed once aroused, so it seems that there could be an incentive to extend foreplay.

Often men are able to reach sufficient arousal for sex rather quickly, unless there are erectile issues present. For women, the indication of sufficient arousal for sex is usually her vaginal lubrication (wetness). And yet so often, women seem to be reaching for the lube in order to facilitate sex, rather than taking the time necessary to reach sufficient physical arousal. It is important to remember here that with the use of condoms, vaginal dryness may occur more easily. Still, it might be useful to ensure that there is enough arousal for lubrication even before intercourse occurs. Considering it usually takes women more than three times longer to reach orgasm than men, it may make sense that women require prolonged foreplay. Here are five ways to enhance foreplay.

1. Set the mood

The space in which we make love can be as important as the act itself sometimes. Often people find that when they intentionally set the tone for lovemaking this becomes part of the foreplay. Lighting candles and/or incense, optimising room temperature and playing music to set the mood could initiate an invitation to your body to soften and relax in preparation for sex.

2. Create the connection

Sharing in a preparation activity before engaging sexually with your lover could increase your connection. Taking a warm, sensual bath or shower together could contribute to a deepening in your joining. Getting naked together before the main act can serve to remind us of the things which we may love about our partner’s naked body.

3. Unite on all levels

Coming down from a stressful or busy day may take some time, so allowing a space for unity with your lover often helps to enhance bonding. Take a few minutes to become still and check in with yourself by focussing on the breath. Then slowly make eye contact with your partner and continue to breathe together. Eye gazing in this way helps to establish closeness and affection.

4. Exploring the other

When you start to become physical, try to find something new about your partner’s body which you haven’t known before. Perhaps pretend it is the first time you are seeing them in this way and see if you can discover new aspects to their sensuality with curiosity.

5. Patience is the key

Sometimes it is hard to wait to have penetration or engage in sex when both are aroused and ready for lovemaking. Perhaps having patience and waiting even longer before engaging sexually can open each person up to new experiences. Slow it down even more, revel in the luxuriousness of the moment and continue to see if you can take your pleasure to new places.