So many of us find talking about sex with our partner awkward and would rather suffer through inadequate sex than openly discuss sex. No one has taught us how to communicate about sex, so it is easier to ignore the discussion and carry on as before. However, a recent study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships has shown that sexually satisfied couples are far more likely to communicate about sex. So, how can you communicate with your lover about sex?

1. Neutral Discussion 

Granted, it would be uncomfortable to simply blurt out that he is doing it wrong in the middle of coitus, and would probably not end well. Choosing the time and place for the discussion could make all the difference. Perhaps when you are close and having a meal together the subject could be broached. Initiating with an enquiry about your partner’s satisfaction could make it easier. Asking if there is anything that he might like you to try in the bedroom could be a good start to the conversation.

2. Joint Education

Rather than a cold call into the conversation, you might prefer to enjoy some sex education together. There are some great educational resources on the internet for couples to access and watch together. Watching other people enjoying sex will make it more feasible to point out what you would like rather than having to explain

3. Sexy Texting

Sending an impromptu sexy text to your lover is always fun and arousing for both parties. It gets you both in the mood and makes the rest of the day exciting. If you want your lover to offer more oral sex or would like to experiment with a sex toy you could mention this in a fun way. Something along the lines of “I loved it when you went down on me last week. I hope we can do that again tonight.” Illuminating the positives encourages repetition of the behaviour.

4. Become a Moaner

A great way to tell your lover that what they are doing is good for you is to express it through moans or movements. When he is hitting the spot make sure that you let him know he is doing the right thing. While using words can be uncomfortable, groaning or writhing your body with pleasure is a sure way to let him know to continue.