Make-up sex or sex after a fight or conflict is often seen to be exciting, passionate, erotic, and fulfilling. My clients usually describe these experiences as being the best sexual encounters which they have within their relationship, with one explaining that while sex was mostly mediocre within the relationship, make-up sex was amazing. Even research agrees, with one study explaining that the heightened sensory arousal which occurs during conflict then becomes transferred to the sexual experience, rendering it overtly pleasurable. Add to this the dynamic of separation and anxiety which can be created during conflict, it then makes sense that recoupling would be amplified through the relieved and reconnected sexual experience. This probably makes make-up sex quite a healthy recovery tactic, although within some relationships it might habitually become the only way to enhance sexual energy within the partnership. And it might develop into the only way which conflict is resolved, rendering any concrete or tangible resolution inaccessible.
Learning to harness this highly stimulated energy for the purpose of resolution might practically improve aspects of the relationship, while using the conflict experience as a teachable moment. Imagine employing the amplified energy from conflict as a conduit for exposing those aspects we usually suppress for fear of judgment or pain. Disclosing our vulnerabilities in this way might better serve reconciliation, while granting our lover access to deeper places within ourselves. Deepening the connection in this way may make way for a closer and more intimate relationship, where compassion and empathy can be cultivated. Playing with this dynamic more constructively might then transform those sexual encounters into an even more intense experience.
Another feature which make-up sex may generate is that of an expanded ability to release inhibitions. After all, revealing our anger is often perceived as inappropriate in our society, so it makes sense then that we may already feel exposed around our partner. Perhaps we maximise on this process by unveiling alternate versions of this powerful energy. Realising that we have already shown how passionate our feelings and emotions might become, it may feel safer to express fully our sexual passion. This is sometimes referred to as angry sex, however becoming aware of the love within the relationship could move the power play present to a deeper expression of our desire and arousal. Stay mindful of the unfolding interaction during this time and play with the prospect that these intensified feelings may represent many possibilities of expression within the relationship. Awareness of relationship patterns is the first step towards more rewarding relationships, and if executed with self-acceptance, could become a channel for divine relational and sexual experiences.