It is a commonly held belief that men and women are driven towards sexual behaviours for markedly different reasons. Men are motivated by the evolutionary requirement to father as many offspring as possible, while women seek sexual partners who will provide protection and security for said offspring. Evolutionary theories may seem reductionist in their approach, particularly with regards to sex, because there is little scope for understanding beyond a purely physiological requirement. Some men reading this would probably argue that their sexual encounters mean more to them than an outlet for ejaculate. This emphasis on sexual performance regarding male sexuality negates the vast range of factors that may drive men towards sexual interactions. Simply observing the trend towards erection medications for men indicates the value which society places on a rigid erection as the central focus on male sexuality. Where then do aspects such as self-esteem, sexual desire, intimacy, and relationship factors enter into this rather simplistic perspective of male sexuality? Furthermore, what happens if men do not relate to the rigid perspective of male sexuality?
While feminism has been embraced socially as the antithesis and answer to our patriarchal society, it seems that this reaction has created some equally restrictive boundaries around male sexuality, for example, masculinity being linked to sex based traits with little consideration of broader factors and influences. The social perspective which reduces male desire to the objectification of women and limited expressions of intimacy appears encumbering at the very least when considering male sexuality. Boys are often conditioned against the communication of feelings and emotions, which might create confusion, especially when deep feelings begin to emerge during adolescence. The desire for emotional intimacy and sensual physical closeness might become lost in translation for young men exploring their emerging sexuality, creating limited sexual scripts and negating humanistic considerations. One potential outcome of this socialisation may be reduced interpersonal skills, resulting in inadequate avenues for self-expression.
Alternatively, adopting a “positive masculinity” perspective highlights the strengths that men embody while emphasising honourable elements of masculinity, possibly resulting in mediating the impact of society’s restrictive view of male sexuality. Included in such an approach is the ability to perceive men as multifaceted in their approach to sex and sexuality, with acknowledgement of the restrictions that socialisation might have placed upon our men. One example of such an approach might include highlighting and commending young men’s curiosity and enthusiasm towards sex. Furthermore, perhaps this eagerness with which many men approach sex represents their desire to achieve emotional intimacy, which may challenge many traditional perceptions of male sexuality. Conscious Intimacy prefers this approach to male sexuality and strives to encompass a more holistic perception of our male clients, including the ability to segregate and analyse both cultural and individual influences. Finally, Conscious Intimacy endeavours to eliminate the rigid traditional sex roles that are often applied to both men and women, developing a more inclusive approach to our clients.
Call Conscious Intimacy today to enjoy an innovative attitude towards sex therapy.