Not too long ago there was a small outcry in Hollywood regarding the censorship of a sex scene in a movie. It happened that a scene depicting a man giving oral sex to a woman was cut because it was feared that it might make viewers feel uncomfortable. More than this, the graphically violent scenes from the film were not altered at all. What followed were protestations about the absurdity that such scenes may be deemed so offensive in mainstream culture. These days one can witness all manner of violence and mutilation in films, but apparently the pleasuring of women is far more distasteful. So, what, if any, message does this sent out to men and women alike?

Many women struggle with orgasm, and this is for several reasons: cultural suppression of sexuality; the complexity of the female anatomy; and lack of comprehensive sex education, to name but a few. With the ease of availability of porn, perhaps one of the few ways to learn to interact sexually is through porn. However, contrary to reality, watching porn may make one believe that women enjoy having their vulvas handled aggressively. Without realistic portrayals of how to pleasure women in mainstream media, many women will continue to struggle with orgasm.

Many sources advocate sexual communication, including instruction and guidance for one’s sexual partner; however this is often easier said than done. Very often women feel uncomfortable to ask for specifics during sex, usually hoping that her lover will somehow “know” what she desires. And very often, her lover only knows what she desires based on what he has learned from sources around him. There is no instruction manual on how to please your lover, so observation is often the only thing we can rely upon. With scenes such as oral sex being cut from mainstream films, then surely it makes it even more difficult for women to ask for what they want or need to achieve sexual satisfaction?

Most people take a stand, one way or another, around the presence sexual scenes in movies. The division is often clear: either one believes it is important and necessary for the plot, or they believe it is gratuitous and unnecessary. However, it seems a blanket rule from Holywood that oral sex on women is a big no-no. While there are a lot of men and women who feel uncomfortable with female oral sex, surely if this was portrayed with more regularity, this stigma would be reduced? For me, personally, I do believe that as long as healthy and inclusive sexual behaviour is excluded from mainstream media, women will struggle to voice their sexual desires.