Defence Mechanisms

Fine is Not a Feeling

So often when we are feeling angry or resentful and our partner asks how we are we resort to that dreaded word: “FINE!” In addiction counselling there is a well-known adage: when clients say they are feeling fine the retort is usually “FINE stands for F****d up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional”, which is a lovely [...]

When Unfair Works

In our egalitarian society, we often expect and require total fairness within our romantic relationships. This may include equal division of household chores, financial contribution and much more. Since the emancipation of women the expectation has become that we will both have the same input in all areas of the relationship. Sometimes couples who come [...]