All long-term couples have to work on keeping their intimate lives alive and healthy. I see couples all the time who are happy with every aspect of their relationship but seem to have lost the excitement and passion they once felt around sex, particularly older couples. When you have been in a relationship spanning decades, you can feel as though there is nothing more to know about your partner, but I am here to tell you that there are ways that can revive your sex life and inject intimacy and desire back into your love life.
Revel in Memories Past
Growing older doesn’t have to mean that your sex life becomes stale or forgotten. In fact, for many older couples, they say that now that they are more mature, the sex is better than ever. It takes a few simple steps to remembering lust and re-energising your physical relationship. The first step towards rejuvenating your sex life is to get back in touch with what attracted you to your partner in the first place. Remember what it felt like in the beginning when excitement shuddered through your body every time you thought of them. Revel in the memories of that initial spark and you may find yourself feeling those feelings all over again.
Take off the Filters and Talk
Next, it is important to really see your partner once again. Take off the filters that tell you that you know everything about them. Find out more about what happens in their inner world and share parts of your inner world too. Communication is an important part of all relationships because it breeds intimacy and connection. When last did you have a discussion about your relationship? Your wants, needs and desires? When last did you ask your beloved if they are satisfied or if there are changes they would like?
Touch Like it’s the First Time
Finally, getting mindful when you are intimate not only pleases your partner, but it can make your experience brand new. Taking a few deep breaths and getting out of your head and into your body can make you more present in the bedroom. Let go of the daily grind thoughts and act as though this is the only moment that counts. See, touch, taste and feel your partner’s skin in a new way. Do you noticed if it has changed? Do you notice if it responds at all to your touch? What do you feel when you touch? All of these things add up to a present and connected lover, which deepens your connection.
It doesn’t take very much effort to out the sparks back into your sex life, but it does take commitment. If you want to have pleasurable intimacy, it requires your presence. Removing the filters that inform your sexual knowledge of your partner changes the way you interact and feel around one another. If you have been together for a long time, it is important to remember that things may have changed and doing something as simple as asking a question could open you up to a while new way of relating and invigorate your sex life.