So many women go through life never allowing themselves to feel sensual or sexy. Often women talk about the beginning of a passionate relationship with nostalgia, describing how they felt so beautiful at the time, and wondering if they would ever feel that way again. But feeling sexy isn’t about someone else, it is about you.

Our society tends to create very strict boundaries concerning the definition of sexy, however, most people understand that sexiness is usually a feeling that radiates from within. It doesn’t matter what you look like, what your body looks like, or even what you are wearing to access your sexiness. As soon as we let go of our socially informed notions of what sexy needs to look like, it becomes easier to embody the unique, sexy woman that resides within us all.

Every woman has the capacity for intense sexual and erotic pleasure, but society has socialised us to believe that our sexuality must be something kept under wraps. Many women feel as though there is something missing in their lives regarding sensuality and eroticism, yet struggle to pinpoint the reasons.

Of course, being with a lover with whom you feel special and sensual is an important part of feeling sensual, but if you are struggling to connect with your own sensuality, it makes it more difficult for others to know how to elicit your sexuality. Knowing your own eroticism and what turns you on makes accessing your sensuality a lot easier.

Believing that your sensuality is only allowed to be expressed or felt in relation to a lover or partner is one of the reasons that you might struggle to feel it. Knowing that your sensuality resides within you might allow you to feel more comfortable to acknowledge it.

Often women shut down their sensuality for a variety of reasons. There might be past uncomfortable experiences, or there is a belief that once in a relationship then we aren’t allowed to feel and express our sensuality except in relation to our partner. Giving yourself permission to feel sensuality in a variety of ways can allow you to practice feeling sensual and help you to understand that your sensuality is always available.

Ways to access your sensuality could be:

  • Dance – put on your favourite music and spend 10 minutes dancing
  • Bath – submerge yourself in a warm bath with candles and sensual oils
  • Food – mindfully eating food that you enjoy helps to connect with the senses
  • Treat yourself – get your hair done or any other pampering activity
  • Massage – getting a massage allows you to reconnect with your body
  • Mindful meditation – get back in touch with the body
  • Nature – being in nature allows you to reconnect with your roots and essence

Offering yourself a sensual activity chosen from the above, or any other you may think of, once a week will allow you to start to value your sensual nature. Remember, no one else needs to know what you are doing or feeling. Treat yourself like your own best friend and indulge every now and again. Whatever you choose to do, embrace yourself, embrace your sensuality and remember that it is always only you who allows yourself to get in touch with your sensuality.