Tantra is a spiritual sub-culture where is it believed that enlightenment can be found by embracing ourselves and the physical world around us. The most basic tennet of tantra is to expand into every experience that comes our way. To truly feel everything, taste everything, see everything and express everything. Tantra is possibly one of the few spiritual doctrines where sex is embraced and revered, rather than being seen as sinful or wrong.
Due to Tantra being an ancient philosophy, much of what is touted as Tantra today would be better described as neo-Tantra. Those who teach Tantra are often self-taught with little formal training or guidance. That is not to say that there isn’t amazing potential for sexual enlightenment if one seeks a guide, but merely that it is important to be very sure from whom you want to learn Tantra. People with knowledge of classical Tantra are a rare breed.
Those who practice neo-Tantra often report peak sexual experiences. Peak sexual experiences are usually defined as orgasms, however I would include in the definition a sexual ecstasy which transcends reality. People describe feeling orgasmically ecstatic for prolonged periods, with a depth of sensation never previously experienced. Very often, this occurs when we let go of our preconceived ideas about sex and allow our bodies to lead us, rather than our heads.
Bringing neo-Tantric practices into your sex life is not as difficult as you may believe. Create a special space for sex, connect in with your self and then with your lover, and remain present and immersed in your intimacy. This simple yet effective way to start to explore the boundaries of your sexuality may be a good place to start. If you find it difficult to get out of your head and into your body then I would suggest practicing mindfulness in your daily life. Also, being honest about where you are at with your lover can help. Having the awareness to express when you are present and when you get lost in your head allows time for you to come back into the present.
Tantra may not be for everyone, and at times, even the word may evoke a certain emotion or feeling. But being present, available and aware during sex is doable for most of us, and may be a game changer. Whether your prefer vanilla sex or to swing from the chandeliers doesn’t matter, what matters is where you are at during sex. While fantasy is often a big part of sex, imagining your lover is someone else will not afford you peak sexual experiences. Be aware of where your head is at next time you have sex and see if you can let go of your thoughts and get into your body.